I don’t know about you, but I loved dating my husband before he was my husband. Once you get married and have kids it will look different, but it shouldn’t stop. I love dating my husband still and we have always been intentional about our dates. There are times where we might go a little longer than usual. That longer than usual times is when you really need it the most.
Many times, couples let money get in the way of their date nights. This is just an excuse and should be avoided. Keep in mind that many couples argue over money and many times get divorced over the same money. Never let money be an excuse. Use your small budget or no budget to think outside of the box and get creative.
Not having enough time would be the next excuse I hear often. Let’s just squash that right now by getting our calendars together. I promise there is time, even if it is just an hour. Make it a priority to date your spouse. I will talk about vertical alignment in many of my upcoming posts be sure to refer back to this post for clarification on the first three. Number one priority is God, he takes president over everything and everyone. Number two is your spouse and number three is your children. Always keep that order and you will find the calm, I promise. Notice that only God comes before your spouse and there is no room for anything in between.
Now that we have squashed the excuses we will move on to the frequency and planning of the “dating”. Long ago a pastor preached on “dating your spouse” and we have duplicated his suggestions. once a week spend an hour, just the two of you. Catch up and talk put the phones down, look at each other hold hands. This is a great time to talk about things like the budget, what is bugging you, edify your spouse, get the calendars together. This would be kind of a check in. During this once a week check in and schedule your monthly date night.
Yes, every month you should have a date night with just the two you. Have fun with this monthly date night and maybe take turns planning it and make it a surprise or plan it together. Be sure to talk about babysitters, purchase tickets, make reservations and check in on the budget for the night. On your monthly date night, be sure to talk about an overnight date or a getaway for just the two of you. Once a year plan a getaway. Again, base it on your budget and work from there.
Now lets talk about the rules for the date night and the getaway. Your weekly talks should be the time you talk about family business, money, jobs, stress and the day to day. When you go out together establish some rules to keep things lighthearted so you can really focus on each other.
First put the phones down and make it clear to your babysitter to please only call in an emergency, this also goes for your older children or adult children. All other calls should be sent to voice mail and will be handled when your date is over. This is one way to keep that vertical alignment. This should be all about you and your spouse, remember there is no room between God and your spouse for anything else.
Rule number two, steer conversations away from high stress like money, kids and job. Like I said before keeping it lighthearted, positive and fun. This is the best time for the two of you to connect and really love each other. Some fun things to talk about are bucket lists, upcoming trips, goals, new jokes, and maybe some new things you would like to try. This is also a great time to praise your spouse or compliment them on something that they accomplished or started doing. There are so many subjects the two of you could cover and keep it positive and maybe throw some spice in there.
Now we have established the ground rules lets get the actual date ideas. This is the fun part.
First, we will start with some free and no cost monthly dates.
- Make a picnic dinner grab a blanket and find a quiet park to watch the sun set and enjoy a quiet meal together.
- During the summer we have a lot of options for movies in the park or free local musicians putting on a concert.
- My husband and I love to hike. Find a hike that suits you both. Make a point to try different ones each time to discover different spots.
- Make dinner at home together with candles and a glass of wine. Watch an old movie or a new one but, sometimes those oldies are the best.
- Choose a game to play together preferably a board game or a card game. Try to avoid video games and games on your phones during your date nights at they don’t really provide that much-needed connection.
Onto dates where you might have a little more money in the “date night budget”.
- One of our favorites is dinner and putt putt golf. We love competition.
- Concert or comedy show that you both have been wanting to attend.
- Grab an ice cream and walk through the downtown shopping area.
- Wine Bar or brewery for a drink and appetizer followed by a movie
- Eary morning Breakfast follwed by some shopping or a fun activity.
The once-a-year getaway will be its own post as there is a lot that goes into it and there are so many great places to visit.
If you have used some of my ideas or have some dating ideas of your own post them below. We always love to hear what other married couples are doing on their dates.